I don't know what it is? This emptiness that engulfs me every now and then. What's the reason? Something's not right. It get's so lonely and meaningless. WILL or the lack of it, makes all the difference. Do I miss somethings that have changed? Maybe I do. But isn't change inevitable? Isn't the world around us changing continuously every living moment. The world this moment is different from the world a moment ago. And that world that existed a moment ago is not coming back again. Never. So even if we try to cling on to the past, all that we really are doing is making ourselves obsolete and miserable. We are refusing to change while the world around us does. We are refusing to do anything new. Past, no matter how wonderful and glorious or how difficult and unfortunate it was, has after all passed. It's over but Why does it become so difficult to understand sometimes? Why can't we just LET IT GO?
It's not a continuous state of mind either. Now you'd think you're done with it and next day you're still thinking the same things. The "things" that made an impact. The things that "mattered". Well there are a lot of things that matter now. Why do we tend to ignore them at the cost of something that we can't change, something that doesn't even matter now? Life is interesting as long as things are "happening". Seriously, it's very important to have good times as well as bad times. It's the "dull" times that I find the scariest. I'd rather be "miserable but involved" rather than "bored and distracted". When you work really hard for something and you get it, a lot of times, it's nothing like you imagined it. Same thing happens after difficult times are over. We don't feel that so called elusive "happiness" we have been looking for. In fact, it gets rather melancholy and sour.
The fact is that we never really want those important times to end. The satisfaction doesn't lie in getting what we want. It lies in "trying our best" to achieve our goals. The time that we spend fighting trying to survive are way better than the times that come afterwards. It's not about what we "get", it's about what we "do". Life is all about "doing" because by doing something we are changing with the world, evolving. The struggle, the fight keeps us alive. There is no end to problems which is actually a good thing. We have to keep proving ourselves again and again. That's life!
