The times with Bobbin.

This one's to Shikhar Chaudhary. First of all HAPPY BUDDAY BOBBIN! I've had some crazy memories with him during the time we used to go to Kanpur Road for NTSE preparations. People who think I'm crazy should meet him. Okay where do I begin? Well, during that time, we co-invented the concept of swarg. It's what we used to call the washrooms because let's face it when you're really under pressure, it does feel like heaven. Then there were the classes that we bunked. Actually now that I think about it, we rarely stayed after lunch there. Ever tried samosas at Alambagh chauraha? They are quite good and used to be a stapled diet for us. We also used to play football with a duster. Another thing that I'll never forget is the transport that we used. The stinkiest, smelliest of the small buses that run in lucknow. It cost Rs 2/- I believe after the student concession and we were so proud to have struck a cheap deal but believe me, any person could easily choke in those vehicles.
Then there's another crazy story about the time we walked from Kanpur road to rajajipuram. A 2 hour walk in mid may with sun blazing at it's fullest absolutely for no reason. We sneaked out of one the classes and out of the school. It was a really hot day and I suggest that we should probably walk. No other person I know would ever have said yes to that. It really was hot and it made no sense to do it but we did. On our way we had our usual samosas, kheera, barf-gola(that was awesome). We also saw some pretty weird stuff which I'm not going to mention here and we finally made it to RJPM and that is the story of my favourite time with Shikhar Chaudhary.

what makes life interesting?

I don't know what it is? This emptiness that engulfs me every now and then. What's the reason? Something's not right. It get's so lonely and meaningless. WILL or the lack of it, makes all the difference. Do I miss somethings that have changed? Maybe I do. But isn't change inevitable? Isn't the world around us changing continuously every living moment. The world this moment is different from the world a moment ago. And that world that existed a moment ago is not coming back again. Never. So even if we try to cling on to the past, all that we really are doing is making ourselves obsolete and miserable. We are refusing to change while the world around us does. We are refusing to do anything new. Past, no matter how wonderful and glorious or how difficult and unfortunate it was, has after all passed. It's over but Why does it become so difficult to understand sometimes? Why can't we just LET IT GO?
It's not a continuous state of mind either. Now you'd think you're done with it and next day you're still thinking the same things. The "things" that made an impact. The things that "mattered". Well there are a lot of things that matter now. Why do we tend to ignore them at the cost of something that we can't change, something that doesn't even matter now? Life is interesting as long as things are "happening". Seriously, it's very important to have good times as well as bad times. It's the "dull" times that I find the scariest. I'd rather be "miserable but involved" rather than "bored and distracted". When you work really hard for something and you get it, a lot of times, it's nothing like you imagined it. Same thing happens after difficult times are over. We don't feel that so called elusive "happiness" we have been looking for. In fact, it gets rather melancholy and sour.
The fact is that we never really want those important times to end. The satisfaction doesn't lie in getting what we want. It lies in "trying our best" to achieve our goals. The time that we spend fighting trying to survive are way better than the times that come afterwards. It's not about what we "get", it's about what we "do". Life is all about "doing" because by doing something we are changing with the world, evolving. The struggle, the fight keeps us alive. There is no end to problems which is actually a good thing. We have to keep proving ourselves again and again. That's life!

GOD........Parents.........What's the difference?

I mean really. Except for the fact that we don't "see" God everyday, I don't see the point. For a child,(maybe not after we grow up)parents do no less than God and childhood is when we really need (God)parents.
The Quran says: "He is God, the One other than Whom there is no god, the knower of the hidden and the manifest, the Compassionate, the Merciful. He is God, the One other than Whom there is no god, the Commander, the All-powerful, Pure and Without Defect, the Bestower of Safety, the Protector, the Precious, the Mighty, the Sublime, the Most Elevated. Exempt and purified be He from the partners which they ascribe to Him."(59:22-23) and to a child parents are like that.
It's our parents who are the providers and the protectors of our lives when we are young. They love us as much as God (and if it were possible,even more) and if God is the most merciful, so are they to us. All these years when we are growing up,they ignore our mistakes and shortcomings without so much as noticing.They accept and love us with all our flaws, unbiased, unprejudiced. If we go astray, they show us the right path instead of hating us for our flaws. Isn't that what God would do?
And Mothers, no one (probably not even God) loves like a mother. It's the purest, noblest kind of love. It is irrational and selfless and it's beautiful when you feel it, when you are touched by it.
So it's not that hard to understand that God made parents for a reason. To do "God's work". To give us the love we deserve. To take care of us. And if anyone has words like "where is God?" or "God isn't fair!", think again buddy, he gave us all parents we probably don't need God till we have them (On second thoughts we do need God too but..... whatever!).

Childhood memories.

A lot more than just sometimes, I wish I had never grown up.
I miss my childhood, I miss being cared for. I miss the way people would forgive my mistakes but most of all I miss the sincere(i mean they were very very real)pleasures I used to derive from the smallest things.
My mother tells me a few stories about my childhood. There was once a birthday party in the house opposite mine. I was a kid and therefore wanted to go there but mom tells me that I wasn't invited and therefore couldn't go.This was unacceptable. So I go to that house and start shouting "Pandit ji Pandit ji humko bhi bulaa lijiye humko bhi party me aana hai".
I used to eat the plaster off walls as a kid and mom was so irritated with this habit of mine that she decided to teach me a lesson.So she gives me a whole plate of cement plaster and dirt and says "this is what you get for dinner". very coolly I start eating
that. I guess I didn't really get sarcasm back then.
It is these things that I miss the most.Childhood I guess really is an amazing time for everyone( I certainly can't complain about mine).Alas! Mine is gone.

FROM GALLOWS TO THE PEAK

As I look at myself today,
there's nothing to be lost,I'm down, at bay.
i'm down in the dumps there's nothing to cling.
There's nothing to cling to except that hope,
that lonely hope to get my goal.
I might be down but I'm not yet out.

I cling to my hope and climb that rope.
The rope to take me towards my goal,
The rope that's made of a tremendous will,
the rope that's made of selfless love.
It makes me determined,never to deter
from the path that's right but surely tough.

Soon I find myself out of the hole,
but not where I want, a long way to go,
I find myself in an endless land,
an endless land with nothing but sand.
Distraught and dirty,tired I am
as the heat blows and the cruel sun glows.
I still move on not wanting to rest,
I still move on in that lonely hope.

Now I come across a hill to climb
and I surely have the will to climb,
the will to climb and reach the top,
the top that's calling me ever since...
I started climbing but faltered in my path,
that could not force me to alter my path,
I kept climbing, striving for success,
and finally I am there, right at the top,
the top that's calling me ever since...